I've been thinking about this whole writing thing. Why i do it. It's not like i thirst for more glory - so far there has been no glory, and there won't be until i grow some talent, or at least some interesting observations. And it's not like i have a message in me, burning to get out. Not really, not usually, anyway. Hell, if i did, it would just be completely ruined. Cheapened. I can look back to, let's see, age 18 - man, did i have some heavy shit in my head (way) back then. Or thought i did. And man, did i mangle it when i tried to write it down. What utter crap.

The vast majority of my written emissions are something like verse. I'll explain why that is later on, but i mention it here because it allows for my normal writing mode. Normally, i just have some words in my head - individual words, or phrases - and i write them down because they sound good beside each other. Simple as that. Not because they're important, or sound important. By sound good, i mean phonetically. Like Suzanne Pleshette. Can't tell you why, but it's a great-sounding name. Nice ass, too (who said that?!?). So i just put sounds together as they occur to me. Which is why they tend to be, um, poems: random sounds just don't work in prose. Try reading William Burroughs if you disagree.

So the how of it is also the main of the why. I write it down because i like the way it sounds. If you want to try this at home (and i warn you, be very careful, and get an adult to supervise), there's a few things i've learned the hard way that i can share with you. The more words you pile together on a page, the more likely they are to become phrases. This is one reason i rarely punctuate: i like to let the words group themselves however they see fit. And as you add up phrases, they may tend to congeal into some sort of story, or feeling, or overall theme, like all the real poets are always yammering about. When they congeal of their own accord is when they'll turn out best. If, however, you catch on to a pattern midway through, you'll foul it up sure as the world. Consciously or not, you'll start to force it, to try to steer the rig where you think it wants to go. Happens to me all the time, even after all these years. But words are like a train, and you can't steer a train: it goes where it's going. If you try to help out, neither the train nor you will be happy (cry for the sad little train). All you can do is dump more coal in the firebox. My, um, poems will tell me that from time to time: "You shoulda just shut up and wrote. (sic)" Take The Gambler's advice: never count your money when you're sittin' at the table. Put your head down and write - don't look up 'til there's a date at the bottom of the page. And for heaven's sake, don't re-write. If you don't like it the way it is, throw it out: it can only get worse once you get involved. Correct the spelling and leave it alone.

I don't like when people (especially myself) try to use words. To manipulate the words (and thus the reader) to make themselves seem more Socially Correct or Impressive or Polite. Say what you mean as plainly as possible. Don't spin or interpret or impress: the words will do that or not on their own. James Cagney advised actors, "Find your mark, look the other fellow in the eye, and tell the truth." So i try not to worry about, or even think about what the end product will be. Just leave my mind open to the sounds.

And then write them down.